I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize