You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
