We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
