My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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