So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
