So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
