According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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