I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
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Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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