hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
