I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize