Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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