This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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