well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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