I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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