how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
