My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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