I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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