Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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