i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize