yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
