I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
