I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
