so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
