; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
