you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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