what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
