My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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