So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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