your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
