if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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