Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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