I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you remember whose house we're in?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
