So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
