The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
