My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
