PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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