after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
