Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
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Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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