This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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