How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have aggressive nipples.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
