oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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