He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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