I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize