WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
