I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
