My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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