Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Randomize
