well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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