she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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