My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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