your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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