Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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