I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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