ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
smell my finger.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
