I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
