So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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