The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize